24. The Hatch

I'm not suicidal, or clinically depressed
(most of the time), though my writing
often reads that way.

I am not really planning to fake my own death
and relocate to Brazil, though I have said so dozens of times
and would love to see Brazil.

I think about running 100 mile races, hiking from coast to coast,
dropping out of the world
and walking the earth in some kind of pilgrimage
until I expire or something
magical occurs.

Sometimes I think about dropping silently off
the stern of the ship and just
bobbing like a cork out there as
the sun sinks down
below the smooth surface.

I need an out to hang in, that's all -
even if it's just in my head.

Especially if it's just in my head.