I've been down and out for four days with a fever and some accompanying symptoms. It hit me really hard. I've spent the last four days sweating, shivering, and fitfully sleeping. I guess it's good that I'm not currently employed. I have never taken three days straight off for being sick in my life. This thing just took the spirit right out of me. I haven't written a word - no desire - besides it would be infected writing. A certain way to ruin an activity I enjoy is to do it when I'm sick - the associations remain forever. I can still think of so many former favorite songs ruined by listening while feeling terrible. My strategy is to turn the lights of, convince people to leave me alone and slip into a coma until my body works it's internal healing magic. I'm writing this, so maybe I'm starting to feel better, but my chest makes funny sounds.and I'm still feverish. Who knows, this could all be an elaborate procrastination scheme to protect me from the daily discipline of writing 2,000 words all month (my current sum total is less than 5,000).
Job interviews last week and two resulting offers. I'm going to accept the one for a little less money, but it allows me to continue the work I was doing, only for a smaller, and lower paying, agency. Just means I'll be grinding a way at second and third jobs for another year - nothing new, but I'm glad to have health insurance, etc.. If all goes according to plan I'll start Monday.
Below is a song that's been another anthem to me over the years. It's a getting through it song, whether you're dealing with illness, love sickness, loss, anger, betrayal, self loathing or just trying to write. It's no happy song, but I've found that it makes hell a little easier to endure. Singing this live on stage is about the closest I've come to having a direct religious experience. Listen to it in the dark. You'll be okay, as long as you know how to turn the lights back on.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
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Thanks for this update Glen - hope you are back to full fitness and full flow writing soon - daylight here so I'll return to listen to Black Flag when it gets dark again.
ReplyDeleteTake care.