Fifth Day of December

You didn't get the Christmas tree over the weekend
and money's tight for the rest of the week.

Someone burglarized the baby sitter's house this morning,
stole the television and a laptop,
rifled through their lives.

Makes you think about getting a dog,
a gun, an alarm system,
or better yet, of just leaving the door
wide open when there's nobody home.

It's not only Santa who comes down through the chimney
at this time of year.
Now, in between the sugar-plums, we've got you jerks to dream about.