Sunday, September 19, 2010

19. I Didn't Mow The Lawn, Again

And just like that
the stuff seems to have run out - some neurotransmitter
or another, and everything is grey and still
in such a way that irritates
like someone staring at you when your resistance is
low.

I'm clumsy, prickly, no spark, no ideas -
no fire,
and because it seems to have run out,
I can't imagine that those things
will ever be back.

Then you get into feeling like it's too late,
a feeling you've known since 22,
or was it 12?

Sometimes you just have to leave it
alone.
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1 comment:

  1. practiceSeptember 19, 2010 at 9:48 PM

    and sometimes you can keep writing through it, get the greyness down on paper; and when you read it over after time you realise that you have moved on from there (hopefully in a positive direction!)
    my depression generally manifests itself in apathy (although it is difficult to spot as my natural state is laziness) and more than usual savage internal criticism. but it goes in cycles and there are places you can look back from, hope you get to yours soon

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